I Miss My Summer! Whine, whine, whine........

So summer is here and I don't really get to have one!  Whine, whine, whine......  If most teachers are honest, one of the major reasons that they teach is so that they can have the summer off.  Not that teachers really take the summer off.  Most of them do several weeks of professional development during the summer, or take college courses, or spend the summer getting ready for the next school year, etc.  The point is that they don't have to go to work every day and if they do something, it is something of their own choosing - something related to their life pursuits, be they professional or personal.  This summer I chose to continue in my doctoral program and take 6 credit hours of coursework as well as continue with my graduate research assistant job (it is nice to at least make enough money to pay for my own tuition).  I am only about 3 weeks into the summer semester and am swamped!  Plus I am trying to make sure that Courtney doesn't spend too much time alone at home, paint the house, and unpack boxes from our move.  It doesn't really feel like summer to me.  It just seems like any other time of the year (except hotter).

One thing that is good about our new house is that it is close to the new rail trail and to a hiking trail in our community.  Courtney and I have been trying to go biking (sometimes I walk) most mornings during the week.  I forgot how fun it is to ride a bike.  If we go early enough in the morning we have shade most of the way.  The trail is pretty level with just slight inclines and declines.  The commuter train actually started running last Saturday so the train actually goes by us sometimes when we are out riding.  Hopefully one or our summer activities will be to ride the rail down to Dallas just to say we have done it!  Sounds fun to me. That reminds me that I need to sit down with Courtney and make a list of the things that we want to do this summer.  I usually do that at the beginning of the summer so that we have a plan for activities during the summer.  It's not quite the same doing it with one child, but it's still summer with the family, such as it is!  Whatever I can squeeze in between working, studying, writing papers, and preparing presentations that is!  Whine, whine, whine.........
 

Pathways on My Journey

Pathways on My Journey

Life is a journey with many paths along the way

On my journey to become

I took the teacher path

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Along this pathway I desired to be better

I was always asking questions

Why do some students learn to read so easily and others struggle?

How can I spend my time more effectively?

Why do I have to give this assessment?

What is important about this “program”?

What is the best way to encourage reading and writing?

When competing voices make demands -

Whose voice is more important – the state, the principal, the team, the parent?

What am I going to teach first, next, today, tomorrow, next week, next unit?

What can I learn from this assessment that will help this student move forward?

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While on this path I discovered much about teaching and learning

There are many different philosophies out there about what is best

Some think phonics instruction is best

Some think using authentic literature is best

Some think a certain “program” is best

Some promote basal reading, or balanced literacy, or whole language

Professional development is inconsistent and spotty with very little follow-through -

Greatly dependent on the school and the district leadership

Assessment is often the “end” instead of a means to an end

Some are unclear and disagree on what “the end” is

There are many different philosophies about how kids learn-

What they need to learn -

And the best ways to help them learn

I mostly learned that there is not a best way – just lots of different ways

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I decided that I wanted to learn more

Maybe that would help me answer some of my questions and help me discover new ways

So I set forth on a new path on my journey

The path to a PhD

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Now I ask new questions

Which theory of reading do I agree with: top-down, bottom-up, transactional, or something else?

Where do I fit in the spectrum of reading researchers?

With Freire and Shannon on the critical literacy end?

With P. David Pearson in the “radical middle”?

Or with Marilyn Adams at the individual cognitive skills end?

Or am I somewhere else on the spectrum completely?

What is my epistemology? How do I think learning happens?

How much does the affective domain influence learning?

How does adolescent literacy differ from early literacy?

How does language acquisition relate to literacy?

What are the sociocultural aspects of literacy?

What do anthropology and linguistics have to do with literacy research?

How do ideologies affect literacy policy and implementation?

What is critical discourse analysis?

How can it be used in literacy research?

Who are stakeholders and what do they do?

Why does research not affect literacy policy and implementation?

Can I help change that?

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These are the things I’ve discovered so far on my doctoral pathway

You’re never too old to learn

There’s so much out there that I don’t know

Every path of learning I take leads me to disciplines I didn’t know existed

I have an underlying ideology that affects how I see the world

I need to be more conscious of that ideology

Literacy research is a multi-disciplinary field

It can be analyzed from multiple perspectives

I need to learn to think like a researcher instead of like a teacher

I need to learn more about statistics

I am a complex adaptive person

Reading and writing are “complex human experiences taking place in complex human relationships”

The P in PhD stands for philosophy

Some research is more “rigorous” than other research

Peer-reviewed research is best

Some think scientifically-based evidence is the only evidence

There are lots of different methodologies for research, each with their own validity and application

Historical perspective and context is important to know

Sometimes I need to look at the macro level

Sometimes I need to look at the micro level

Reading is cognitive, linguistic, sociocultural, and developmental

I am unfinished

I am a life-long learner and can learn something from everyone, including students

As far as questions go,

There is no answer – just progress towards more questions

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Life is a journey with many paths along the way

On my journey to become

I took the learner path

BYU Sports

I know it's sometimes hard for people to understand why people follow BYU sports.  For John and I, it has been a way for us to feel a little bit a part of our college kids lives.  It gives us something to talk about, and makes us feel like we are not so far apart.  We are too far away now to drive up there to go to concerts, etc.  Because we moved from 3 1/2 hours away to 24 hours away (and even farther for BYUI), it has been hard to feel connected at times.  Both John and I attended BYU.  My sister, Deena, and I loved BYU sports when we were there.  We were there during the Jim McMahon and Steve Young years and the Danny Ainge years, so we knew how exciting it was to have winning teams and how much fun it was for the students to have that kind of experience.  There is just something about cheering together for a team.  It's been a fun ride with Morgan, Jerry, and Amber.  Now we have memories of Max Hall, Austin Collie, Dennis Pitta, and memories of Jimmer Fredette and company.  We will always have those memories to share with our kids.  Thanks to the BYU teams for the new memories to go along with the "old" ones!

Next up is BYU vs. Texas in Austin next Fall! Right in the middle of Longhorn country.  We will be there in our Cougar blue.  Go Cougars!

Now if we could just get Courtney to like sports . . . any sports . . .

Sentimental Journey

It's Spring Break and I have been doing homework.  One of the things that I wanted to do, though, was work on a family picture collage from 2010.  I did one a couple of years ago and figured it was time to do another one.  While I was working on it today I found a collage that I had been working on awhile ago for my son, Marcus, who died many years ago.  We have had a couple of pictures on the wall of our home ever since that time to help us remember him.  In the last move, I decided to scan the pictures from one of them and make them into a digital collage like the other ones that I have created.  I don't really think about Marcus that much anymore (at least with sadness).  He is a part of our family.  We remember him daily in various small ways.  However, working on this picture brought back many happy memories and also some tears.  I wanted to share those today.

He would have been 25 in a couple of weeks.  Our lives would have been so different as many decisions we have made since then have had something to do with losing him so young. 

However, life is good.  We have a wonderful family, with marvelous and outstanding children whom we love very much.  John is still the greatest thing that ever happened to me.  Each of our children bring us so much joy.  I don't understand God's reasons for things, sometimes, but I trust that He has a plan.  I continue to work each day so that I may see all my children together again someday.

It's Hard to be a Missionary Mom

Why is it different being the mom of a missionary than being the mom of a child who leaves home to go to college or live on their own?  Personally, I think being a missionary mom is the hardest thing that I have had to do as a mother.  Well, maybe losing a child was the hardest.  This is the second hardest. 

I have had to deal with it by just not thinking about it.  I email my son every week, but I can’t talk to him.  Jerry is a boy of few words (as most boys are).  His once-a-week emails are very short.  They just have things in them about who his investigators are, and that’s about it.  He doesn’t really say anything about anything.  I find it challenging to write emails that are appropriate.  I try to be careful to not say anything that would distract him while he is out there doing the Lord’s work.  I don’t want to encourage him to think about home and family, because he’s supposed to be thinking about missionary work.  I hope I haven’t been too distant.  It’s just that I haven’t wanted to do the wrong thing.  When Jerry was at college I only talked to him every couple of weeks or so.  Sometimes it was a short conversation.  Sometimes I could get him talking and have a longer conversation.  It takes some work to get him going.  At least I knew that I could call him if I wanted to.  I could text him.  I could try to take care of him from a distance. 

Jerry went off to college about three weeks after he graduated from high school.  We have always encouraged our kids to grow up and leave home.  I don’t really want them to stay home.  I want them to move on in their life to the next step (learn how to be a grown up and take care of themselves).  But, sending a child on a mission is different.  At least when they are at college I can call them if I want to.  I can tell them things that are going on or talk with them if something is troubling them or if they need advice.  I can’t do any of those things with Jerry.  I don’t know if there is anything troubling him, because he doesn’t say anything.  He doesn’t ask advice.  He says everything is fine and that he loves us.  He doesn’t ask for much of anything except music CD’s occasionally.  The only thing I know to send him is candy, and I don’t want to send him candy all the time.  I have really been at a loss as to what to do.  I send him newsy emails, but I am always careful not to say that we (I) miss him (which I really do – even though I try not to think about it).  I try to tell him to be obedient and to listen to the spirit.  I try to share my testimony.  That’s about it.  As far as I know he’s never been to the doctor or the dentist while he has been out.  I’d have made sure he did both of those things if I could have.  When he’s having a hard time, he has to rely on his companion or his mission president or the Lord to keep him going.  He can’t rely on his parents or his family.  I sure hope he’s okay.  I really won’t know until he gets home.  Two years is a long time to feel emotionally disconnected from your child.  I have felt the need to keep that disconnect there so that he could focus on what he is supposed to be doing.  I hope that was the right thing to do.

We shall see in 1 month and 29 days!

Happy Birthday Jerry!  See, I can’t even call him and tell him Happy Birthday.  I mailed him a box and found out from his email that he won’t even get it until the week after his birthday.  I attached a picture of his birthday present to his last email just in case he didn't get the box in time - at least he got to see the picture.  I just think that’s sad that he can’t have a wonderful 21^st birthday.  Maybe he had a wonderful birthday . . .I hope so.  I just don’t know.  That’s the hardest part of being the mother of a missionary.  You just don’t know!  He’s not my responsibility right now (even though he really is an adult – so he isn’t really my responsibility anymore anyway – but you know what I mean).  Letting your kids grow up is hard to do.  Being a missionary mom is hard to do too.

First-timer

I always have thoughts and ideas floating around in my head.  I have things that I'm excited about.  I have things that I'm afraid of.  I have things that I have learned.  I have things that I worry about.  I have memories, some recent, some very old.  I have things that make me sad.  I have new information that I have learned that I am trying to integrate with what I know already.  Sometimes I have new information that I don't really know what to do with!  Sometimes I have questions about myself.  Why do I really like this thing?  Why am I afraid of that thing?  I remember driving my father crazy when I was little because I always asked so many questions.  Most of the time my thoughts just stay up there in my head.  I am a pretty quiet person.  I don't like to be the center of attention, most of the time.  I don't like to cause trouble or be the cause of trouble for someone else.  I would call myself an observer.  I like peace, not contention.  I don't know if others would agree with that, but that is how I think of myself.  I've thought about having a blog for many years now.  Well, today is the day that I am going to start putting some of those thoughts that are floating around in my head down in words.  We shall see how long I can keep this up.  Consistency isn't one of my strengths.  I tend to go in spurts with long pauses in-between.

Thought for the day:

My mind seems to want to make sense of things.  I think it likes structure and order.  It always wants to put things in a slot.  Not just any slot - the perfect slot.  If there's not a perfect slot to put it in then it floats around until my mind finds a perfect slot.  Maybe that's why so many thing are floating around in my head all the time.  Sometimes there just isn't a perfect slot.  I guess if I don't find that perfect slot, then my mind just ejects that idea or thought, or files it away to be brought out later.  I can imagine that "later" file looking like the large pile of filing that is always waiting to be done in my office.  I hate filing.  I just pile things up until I really need something.  Then I file it all at once, all in one sitting - a marathon filing party.  Then I don't file anything again until the pile starts to fall over or until I really need something out of it again.  That is just one of the many things about myself that just doesn't make sense.  If I like structure and order, then why don't I file things and keep up with it so that it doesn't pile up like that?  Hmmmm. . . .